Myra's Birth

At long last, the birth blog. I might as well start off with the obligatory warning: DO NOT READ this blog if you do not want to read any gory details about birth and things related. I'm going to try to keep it as tasteful as I can, but there is only so much I can do with writing about a person coming out of my body. Sorry.

So if you have followed any of my postings, or talked to me, or just heard it through the grapevine in general, Trevor and I had decided to have our baby at home. It was a decision that we both agreed was best for us, and I am so happy we did. After we decided that, we went along and found our nurse-midwife, Margaret, whom is fantastic. I highly recommend her if anyone is looking for a midwife in the Spokane area.

Thursday (3/7) afternoon was when I first started noticing contractions. I had had many Braxton Hicks contractions, and I knew these were different. From earlier conversations with Margaret, we decided to just go about our night as usual, and to try to get some sleep while I still could.

Friday morning came, with a small increase in the strength of the contractions, so we texted Margaret that baby time should be approaching soon and went about our day. Fast forward to late afternoon, and the contractions had actually backed off. I had spent the entire day walking and pacing to try to pick things up, and understandably, I called Margaret frustrated. She was in the area and decided to come by and check up on me. When she arrived she had checked my dilation, and I was still at 3 cm (not far along, I had been at 3 for a few days). We discussed what could be happening, and the subject came up about an issue (saving you readers some unnecessary details) I was having, that was unrelated (or so I thought) to labor. She had explained that actually the issue I was having, could be causing the holdup in my labor, and so she had suggested that we fix the problem, and see what happens after. Evening now on Friday (3/8), and I had just fixed the issue I was having. Not 5 minutes had passed when a strong contraction came on. They had now started coming every 11 min. and were getting strong. Margaret had another client at 8 cm, and was hesitant to leave her as she was showing signs of birthing soon. She had her assistant Pam come and sit with us and report to her periodically as I was progressing. At this point my mother, Trevor, and Pam are all at my house, watching tv. Contractions are quickly becoming very painful, and closer in time.

Sidenote: Contractions suck. I'll give you a moment to finish chuckling. Yes, they hurt. At one point, I was on the ground, banging the floor. I'm sure it looked quite terrible. AND, they were only getting worse and closer together. Ugh.

Trevor had suggested I get in the shower, and I agreed. The hot water helped, and I was really able to start concentrating on what was happening. Pam had been texting Margaret and had suggested she come back over, as it was looking like I was going to progress farther than her other client. Margaret had arrived and let me know she was going to stay, and that I was doing well. We had a birth pool set up, and I decided to get in. I spent most of the next 3 hours or so in the tub. The warm water really did help, and I do highly suggest using a pool if possible. Trevor was supporting me from the outside, holding me up. (I give huge props to my husband, who spent hours holding me up from an awkward angle, and didn't complain once. He later told me his back was pretty much dead, and his arms sore, but he still did whatever I needed him to do) I spent those hours with my eyes closed, and concentrating on nothing but what my body was doing. With each contraction I exhaled slowly while counting in my head. For me, when I am in pain, it helps to count slowly, and it distracts me. The months leading up to this, I repeat the same thing in my head and out loud several times a day: "I will have a safe, healthy, short birth. I know I will have pain, but I will not suffer. My baby will be born happy and healthy". That, and imagining the first time I would hold my baby, is what got me through the next few hours. The moment I realized that my body was about to push on its own accord, I will say I got nervous. I said "I have to push" and in the pool I did have my first bear down. Not too long after, it was suggested that I get out of the pool, as the water was becoming unsanitary to have a birth in, although the decision was left to me. I decided I wanted to go on my bed, and with that, I stepped out of the tub, got immediately wrapped in warm towels, and was escorted to our bed.

At this point it's roughly 4am...ish, and I am in the bed, pushing. Pushing hard. And it hurts. Hurts bad. I knew it would, and I was prepared for it, but shoot dang. Ouch. Later I used an analogy about what it feels like to push a baby out, but it's a little too descriptive, so if you want to hear what I said, you can ask me personally. With each push I kept telling myself, "just a couple more Kirsten, and you will get to hold your baby". I'm actually pretty proud of myself, I only uttered one swear word during the whole process. Anyway, at one point I decided to switch positions, into a side lying position. After one good long push, we realized that my water had never broken, because I was actually birthing the amniotic sac (we had originally thought it broke in the pool). Margaret had me stop pushing as long as I could, so she could open the sac. After another push, her head was born, and the sac was removed from her face. One more push and at 4:32am she was completely born. I went from 3cm dilated to a baby in 4.5 hours. For those who don't know, that's crazy, crazy fast. Margaret handed her to me, and she was placed on my abdomen because her cord was short. Trevor was able to cut the cord once it had stopped pulsating, and she was brought closer to me. After all the pushing and pain I was finally holding my baby. She didn't cry, she just looked at me, and in that moment, I felt so content. I knew her, and she knew me, and that's all we needed to care about.

After about five minutes she started rooting, and so we got her to latch for her first time. We spent some time in the bed, just laying together, the three of us. It's all a bit hazy, but sometime after an hour or so, she was taken to get cleaned off, measured and weighed. Trevor helped me with my pajamas (the bed was clean almost immediately after the birth, it was quite efficient), and she was brought back to me, where the three of us spent time together, just getting to know each other, her in her new world, us in our new roles as parents.

I can honestly say I am so, so happy with my birth experience. I wouldn't change one minute. The choice to birth at home with a Nurse Midwife was the best choice for us, and it went fantastic. I truly believe I was able to concentrate fully on my experience because I was in my own home, in my own clothes, not hooked up to any machines, with only people I knew around me. I feel so sorry for mothers who are disappointed in their birthing experiences, and I feel lucky to have exactly what I hoped for. I do honestly believe that the positive mantra I repeated daily, and the preparation of pain really made a difference. I knew it was going to hurt, it's the only thing I could be sure of, and oddly, it was comforting. There is a difference between pain and suffering, and because I was prepared for it, I didn't suffer. I knew there was an end result that made all the pain worth it, and I was able to focus on that.

I need to take a minute to express my thanks to Margaret. Without her, I wouldn't have had half the amazing experience that I did, and I am so happy she gave us the birth we wanted. She was with us from the very beginning, with answers to my never-ending slew of questions. She was never more than a phone call or text away, and that was incredibly comforting. I knew I didn't want an OB that I would have to schedule an appointment with anytime I had a question. The level of personalization and closeness is incomparable to an OB. My baby was delivered by not just my midwife, but my friend. Thank you Margaret, I will forever feel blessed to have had you as a care provider.

Now, I have a daughter that is almost 10 weeks (2.5 months), and each day has its own joys and set backs. I ask God for patience every day when times are tough, and thank Him every night for the blessing he has given us. We're just figuring this whole parenting thing out, and there isn't anything else I would rather be doing.

My Choice: Homebirth

Undoubtedly this is going to be a more controversial post, and forgive me if anything I type strikes you as unsavory. My only intention is to explain my choice, and my reasons for making the one I have. I don't expect anyone to suddenly jump on the homebirth bandwagon, to persuade anyone one way or another, or even to support my decision, but I do have enough confidence in my friends and family (yes, you!) who are reading this that they will respect that this is my (and my husbands) choice to make. I do love to debate, and I am not offended by anyone who doesn't support homebirths. I don't mind having a respectful conversation about it, so if by the time your done reading this, and you want to talk about it, please feel free to contact me!

I would like to start out by stating that this decision has not been hastily made. There are many who think that this is a haste decision, or that it was made in efforts to be more 'earthy' (as some have lovingly labeled me). Let me be clear, neither of those thoughts are true. I have done hours of research, spoken with different proffesionals, and I have made my choice based on what I have learned.

I have chosen homebirth with a CNM (Certified Nurse Midwife) as my care provider, with the support of my husband.  Yes, I do plan on laboring in a waterbirth pool, and if I feel so inclined, birth in the pool. Yes, I am aware of the risks associated with homebirth and water birth, and I also beleive that the benefits far outweigh the risks. Yes, I am aware that this is just a plan, and that 'even the best laid plans...often go awry'. Yes, I do have a back-up plan in case of a hospital transfer, and I am  prepared for that outcome as well.

Homebirth has always appealed to me, I admit, because I hate hospitals. I hate the monitors, the needles, the seemingly cold staff, and horrendous color schemes, and just the general feeling of impending doom. So when I found out I was pregnant, I began to do a lot of research to find out if homebirth really was a safe choice. The facts might actually surprise you:

• Home births have a lower risk profile than hospital births.

• The percentage of home births that were preterm was 6%, compared with 12% for hospital births
• The percentage of home births that were low birthweight was 4%, compared with 8% for hospital births.

These three facts were taken directly from the CDC. Granted, statistics are going to be a little skewed, because the 95% of homebirths are planned homebirths with a low risk. Intervention is also higher in hospitals than homebirths. Another fun one is that 32.8% of all births in the US (2010) were delivered via ceserean section I think that number is apalling. I wish there was a statistic to how many of those C-sections were actually medically needed in order for the baby or mother to survive. According the CDC the target number for C-sections is 15 per 100 births. We are more than double that. Taking out the number of women who elect to have it for (what I beleive to be ridiculous) reasons, such as picking the birth day, fear of the pain, control, or to prevent the effects of vaginal delivery, there is still a gap between the targeted number, and the actual number. The target is based on those whose C-sections are medically necessary. That leads to another question, why is there a gap, and when is the physician manipulating laboring mothers into an unneeded C-section?

Ok, now to go on before I go off into an (not medically necessary) anti-csection tangent.

Birth is a natural process. Women were made to to have babies. When was the last time you went to the hospital because you released your bowels? Yes things can go wrong, and that is when the hospital becomes necessary, not before. Oh but wait, I can almost hear people asking "why not birth at the hospital, just incase something does go wrong?" Well, let me ask: How often does a laboring mother get admitted into the hospital, and then taken to a room to deliver naturally, without ANY intervention? An IV is basic rule for being admitted. Don't forget the hospital gown (unless you brought one of your own and they let you wear it). I know this may seem silly, but we don't actually need an IV to give birth. Most laboring mothers are fitted with a fetal monitor. Generally harmless, but many women find in encumbersom. Again, this is unneeded, generally unwanted intervention. In the hospital, you are told to not eat or drink in case of emergency surgery, oh, but you are allowed ice chips. yum. how satisfying. Let's not forget the option of pain medication (I won't get too into this, but for me, I am hoping to go pain med free). OH and let's not forget that if you arn't progressing as fast as they like, they can shoot you up with pitocin to get the process started. Of course you can reject these suggestions, and they may send you home...with a nice bill...only to have to come back again when they want you.

Have I made a point?

If you are able to find a hospital that will allow you to go without all of these things (and with a staff that won't judge you for it) then more power to you, why the heck wouldn't you? Unfortunatly, this happens next to never.

Personally, during labor, my body is going to be going through the biggest process it was ever made to do, I want to be comfortable so that I can focus on what I need my body to do. I want to wear my own robe, not have a needle sticking out my arm, not have a pole with a bag I have to drag around when I want to walk. I want to be able to keep my body fueled with food and drink (I mean really, no wonder women get tired in the hospital, their bodies are doing so much work, and they arn't allowed to eat to replenish energy?). I just want to throw out there, that women have been giving birth, well, forever. They gave birth in caves, homes, beds, and for goodness sakes, women are still giving birth in fields and outdoors in remote areas. If they can do that, I can certainly do a homebirth with a CNM, and proper medical preperation.

Another thing, I have chosen to labor in a birthing pool, and I want my privacy with that. The birthing pool is a whole other subject, but to put it basically, the benefits are softening of the perineum (less tearing), the water helps support the muscles, and the heat is comforting and another form of natural pain management. The only people there will be my husband, and my CNM who has gotten to know me over many months. No hospital staff coming in and out. I mean I'm not the most shy person out there, but if I could choose, I choose to have my lady bits and most my uncovered body to not be seen by anyone I don't want to be there.

I chose a CNM because I love the personalization. I love that she is a midwife and has training with labor and birth in a natural way, but more, I love that she is also a trained nurse. The CNM I have chosen specifically has her masters in nursing. She is amazing. Very sweet, funny, and I love that I can email, call or text her anytime I have a question or concern. Literally, none of the 'please hold'/office isn't open past five/ office isn't open on weekends crap. I love that she is someone that has gotten to know me and my husband, our plans for our birth, and that she fits everything around us. It's a level of personalization you just don't get with an OB. I feel much more confident that even in a worst case scenario/hospital transfer, there is someone there who knows exactly what I want, and has the power to step up and enforce it (in this case, I'm assuming my husband will be more focused on me and the labor and don't want him to have to make quick decisions while flustered).

I beleive that with the proper preperation of my mind and body, that homebirth is the best option for me. I beleive that birth is natural, and I want the experience that God has intended for me. My husband, who is RN-BSN, also agrees with, and supports my decision. I know that this is just a plan, and that all of this may become null and void if for some reason (God Forbid) an emergency were to take place. In that case, the life of my baby is going to take precedence over anything else, and I will be willing to make any decision that will save my child.

If your still alive after the extraordinary amount of time you had to use to read this grossly long blog, I thank you. I hope I have cleared up any questions that some have asked, and that I have clarified for others that this is a choice made after serious thought and research. If you still have questions, I invite you to get ahold of me and ask, and I'll do my best to answer them. If you have read this, and still find my decision to be negligent, then I hope you keep your opinions to yourself. I don't ask that you agree, but that you respect it. Thank you, and God Bless!

Finally, pregnancy update!

Ok, ok, I know this is a little late, but I have good reasoning. Up until this last couple of days, I have had a miserable time being pregnant. I didn't want to use my entire update to vent about the misery of morning sickness, but to be excited and share the good things.

So, the good things....I'm fifteen weeks and one day! Baby is the size of a navel orange, and as far as I know, is happy as a clam. Yesterday was the first day I felt well enough to leave the comfort of my couch, and venture into the real world. I visited three different stores, bought things, and came home. This may not seem huge to anyone else, but for me, to willingly get up and dressed, actually get in my car to travel somewhere besides work, and spend time not lounging was a MAJOR accomplishment. I'm hoping, nay...PRAYING that this is the start of me feeling well again (which I hear is supposed to happen around now, ie. the second tri).

I have heard about morning sickness, and being generally uncomfortable, but it's almost criminally negligent how uninformed I really was. I mean seriously people, how was it possible to get through those first horrendous weeks?? I understand every woman and every baby is different, but I was not prepared for the constant hating of my life for 2 months. Don't get me wrong, I can handle pain, I can handle nausea, I can handle headaches/tiredness/grumpyness/sore boobs/backaches, but to put them all together, is just cruel. I curse Eve for eating the damn fruit and putting this on us women (feel free to laugh as I rant). Nausea used to be so easy to deal with, a trip to the bathroom and voila, you feel better and it's over with. NOT THE CASE with pregnancy. UGH!!! Not to mention how your couch becomes your best friend, I know every inch of my couch. AND I have sunk in over 100 hours of Grey's Anatomy...pathetic....

But I digress....

Reeling it back in, I am really looking forward to the next few months. In about 4 or so short weeks we should be learning the sex of Baby Turner, and yes, we will be finding out, I can't handle not knowing. This is the time when supposedly I'm going to feel my best, and most energetic. I'm excited to be feeling well again, and to be able to be productive. [This would be a perfect time to mention how awesome Trevor is. Honestly, the man has had to deal with me crying and complaining for days on weeks on months. He has taken over taking care of the dog, the house, and helping me, all without a single complaint. He is a rockstar. I love that man of mine] The last two days, I have actually been able to prepare, and eat meals. Baby just can't grow on a diet of pringles and chocolate milk. It's crazy how much changes in just a few short days. I have started a registry, just so I can add things here and there and not have to do it all at once. Besides putting off taking weekly photo's (I know, I really need to start doing that!), that's about all I have for now. Hope everyone is well, and I'm sure I'll be updating soon!

May 2012...au revoir!

The last month has definitly been a stressful month. Trevor graduating, birthdays, new car, moving, and last, God has called my grandma back to him. Needless to say, I'm glad to be seeing the end of May 2012. It's been so up-and-down, and though there have been many positives, I am so ready to find a new 'normal' daily routine.

I don't want to delve too far into this event, but I do feel I need to touch on it lightly. My grandma Grace, passed away on May 21st. She has been declining recently, and though it was expected, it was a sad day. The important thing to me is that I got to say goodbye while she was in the hospital. She is with my grandpa in heaven now, and that is what gives me comfort.

For the last two weeks, we have found, applied for, and signed a lease for a tiny, albeit adorable house located not more than 4 blocks from our old house. It's a one bed, one bath, itty bitty house.



Did I mention it's tiny?





It has a small laundry area, a fenced off side yard for Keira when we're not home, and a large front yard (also fenced) for playing in. Though it's been tough trying to condense our large amount of stuff to fit into our new home, with leaving us room to move, it's been fun to make our new home, feel like home. We have had to get creative with storage, and our large sectional couch, has been pulled apart and we are using one half of it until we can sell it and find a more suitable replacement.



Looking in from the front door



And....a little to the left

I like to think of it as a cottage. Those are small right? Well, it's all we need, and it will help us keep our bills low so we can save for things we really want (such as Paris, and a down payment on a house). If Dave Ramsey were here, he would give us a high five...I think.

Ok, I realize I havn't posted in a while, so this may be scattered and unorganized...not like that is unusual anyways.

So the month of April has brought us many new things. Trevor has started his practicum, in which he works in a hospital for a few weeks before his graduation, to get experience. It's awful hours, and the pessimist in me only thinks this is the beggining of his awful hours (newbies don't exactly get favorable hours=overnight shifts), but the optimist in me says "Hey, this isn't that bad, and it's only a few days a week" I tend to go with the former, but I'm learning to go with the latter.

After Trev gets done with this obstacle, he has graduation. God is good! He has worked so hard, and studied for so many hours, and it pays off in just a few short weeks when he gets to stand on a stage proudly and recieve his diploma. Though I dread sitting for a few hours to watch hundreds of people do the same thing (aided of course, with family and my kindle), I know that when he has his moment, and I see his smile, it will all be worth it. Afterwards we plan on having a barbeque graduation party, in which people can come and give their congrats while enjoying amazing homemade dishes. Have I mentioned, that I'm enjoying party planning? Makes me wish I actually did some planning for my wedding haha. I have my menu and subsequent grocery list, getting organized with what I need (tables, chairs etc), I have some centerpieces already, and am making some more decorations to catch the eye. Really, it's just an excuse to do some crafts. OH, and celebrate Trevor's acheivement of course.

With Trevor graduating, and me wanting to start school again in the fall, we can't help but notice the options we have with Trevor not being tied to Spokane anymore. Nurses are a hot commodity, and allows us to pretty much move anywhere with a guarenteed job for him. It begs the question, "What now?" We have considered many ideas. We have thrown out South Carolina, East Coast in general, Montana, even Germany was an option at one point. All the criteria we need is a community college for me, and a hospital for him. After much consideration, I think we have decided to stay in Spokane for atleast one more year, then re-evaluate when I have my AA. (which I need one more year of schooling to get). After that, we can decided if we would like to stay, or be adventorous and find a city with a University (with an Animal Sciences degree, did I mention I want to be an Equine Vet?) I pray for guidance often and for the courage to follow it.

I'll leave at that, as I am tired, and want to retire to bed and keep reading my kindle (currently enjoying the 4th book in the Game of Thrones series). God Bless!

Lent, here I come!

Ok, now I know that Lent is generally practiced by catholics, and I know it has many meanings, but overall I find its to sacrifice something, and be closer to God. I don't really see anything wrong with that, so I've decided to go ahead and give it a go!!

It was hard finding something to give up, I don't eat much junk, no sugar, hardely ever drink coffee, you see my problem?? So I googled creative idea's and found an awesome list. As I scanned I found one that is perfect...NO SNOOZE BUTTON! Seriously, you wanna talk about discipline, try being used to hitting your snooze 6 times a morning, then give that up. I woke up this morning, and laid there, just so upset with having to get up right away, ugh!!

Now I know that's not a big thing, and I have a couple others I'm doing (going through my closet and getting rid of excess clothing) but the main thing is I'm going to add extra prayer time and PBJ (prayer, bible, journal). I'm still working on becoming fit and the healthiest woman I can be, (just finished my third run this week...whew!) but I really need to focus on creating a stronger relationship with Him. That's my focus this month....pray for me!

I don't really have anything else to say, so that's it for me for now!

Updates Galore!

So to update from my previous posts, I ended the Cleanse strong, and hungry. I ended up at 141 lbs, only had mild side effects (hunger and small headache), and though I did feel very healthy. I worked my way up to bigger meals by eating small bland meals to get used to eating whole food again.

Now I'm just focusing on putting healthy food into my body. I've recently found a new love: greek yogurt. Every morning, I make a shake consisting of greek yogurt, soy milk, agave syrup, and fruit. I get a serving of fruits, a serving of a probiotic food, and atleast 21 grams of protein to boot. I switched to costco greek yogurt soymilk, which has less sugar, and comes in bulk which is amazing, because I don't want to go to the store twice a week for my shake ingredients. I pack my lunches, mostly with a good sized salad, cottage cheese, fruit, sandwhich, or any combination of those things. I also bring along two snacks, one before lunch, and one after. I am trying to eat every two to three hours to boost my metabolism.

Lately I have been doing a lot of research, for the trip to Paris Trevor and I have planned to go on for a while now. Due to my overwhelming desire to experience Paris to the full I can, we have decided that in April 2013, after I have recieved my A.A. (if all goes to plan), I will depart to Paris. I will be there for the whole month of April, living there and experiencing all I can. Trevor will join me after about two weeks (depending on how much time he can get off) and spend the final time with me, then we will depart Paris together heading home. One of the best parts is, we (my siblings/father) are saving up for an extra airplane ticket for my mom's 50th birthday. She will leave with me, so that I'm not alone, and she can travel with someone. I'm very excited to give this to her, she doesn't know yet, and I really hope she likes it. She has expressed a want to leave, but has accepted that she probably won't ever have that chance. I want to give her this chance to travel.
The amazing thing is...not days after I start my research, I learn that a friend in Paris has bought an apartment for one of my oldest/best friends mom. She bought it for her, and for her daughter/me to always have a place to stay when we visit Paris. I heard the news, and started crying, how good God is to me! Paris is my favorite place, I feel at home, and close to God when I'm there. What a better sign that this is a path to follow, than to find out I have a permenant home in Paris!? I feel so blessed, I literally couldn't concentrate the entire day. I couldn't tell you how much I prayed my thanks to Him.

I'll finish with one last thought, though I have many going through my head in the past two days. If you have a dream, please follow it. Tomorrow is not promised to you, and at the end of your life, how wonderful it would be to know that you really, truly lived. People say "Yeah, I would like to do that one day" and I can understand patience, but please don't put your goals on the backburner. Keep them in the front of your mind, work towards them, see everything that you do as a step closer to acheiving them. I plan on making a 'Bucket List' so they call it, or in other words, the things I want to do/accomplish before the Lord calls me home. I encourage others to do the same, and then most importantly, start crossing them off.